Duke of Dishonor Read online

  Eliza made a squeaking noise as her chin notched higher. “My point stands. She might have completely frightened you away thinking that she didn’t care a whit about you if she were willing to just pass you off to her sister.”

  Well. That was true. And she might have scared him off except that he couldn’t imagine wanting another woman the way he wanted her. Ever.

  “Oh,” Emily exhaled the word as a hand pressed to her throat. “Is that correct?”

  He shrugged then. “I have to confess to you that your father asked me to keep an eye on you. And I did. Long before you were aware of it.”

  Emily nodded. “I assumed as much. How else would you just happen to come to our rescue so often?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “So I happen to know you are a person of unfailing kindness.”

  She didn’t answer but slowly scooted forward and then touched his knee. “Thank you for saying that. But my family would tell you that kindness is not a trait that is very helpful. Especially during a crisis such as we are in now. I’ve done very little of the actual work of saving us.”

  His jaw hardened then. Because, in this moment, he understood several things about Emily that he hadn’t before. She was passive, and caring, and being trampled by her stronger sisters, and she needed a hero again.

  Not from bandits, thieves, or kidnappers but from well-intentioned family who were stealing her confidence. “Then your family has never had to go without such emotion. If they had, they’d understand its value far more keenly.” He reached for her hand then and pulled it into his own. He wished she had no gloves; he’d like to feel her skin. “You are far more valuable than you realize.” Then he looked at Eliza, his face set in hard lines. “Or your family gives you credit for.”

  “I am not as smart or determined or personable…” she started, but he gave her hand a squeeze and she quieted.

  “What you lack is not determination or intelligence.” He needed her to understand this. “It’s confidence. And you won’t build yours up while others are tearing you down.”

  He gave Eliza another glare and she had the decency to drop her chin low as she stared at the floor. “I can be rather overbearing. I’m sorry, Em.”

  Emily straightened in her seat but left her hand in his. “Don’t fret, Eliza. You’re only trying to help.”

  And that, right there, was what he wanted more than anything. That unconditional love that was so rare and so beautiful. Would she give such emotion to him? He wanted it. More than anything. More than anyone.

  “Emily,” Eliza said. “He’s right. Your ability to give love is unparalleled, and truly, I don’t know if we’d have come out of this without you. You’ve kept us connected when we might have fallen apart.”

  Emily drew in a sharp breath, her eyes misting as she finally let go of his hand to give her sister a hug. He missed her touch and his fingers curled into a fist to keep from reaching out to her again.

  The sisters let go of one another and Eliza straightened in her seat. “Can we get back to the topic of Abigail? What are we going to do on that front?”

  Menace let out a sigh. “May I propose, my love, that you try and get to know Blasphemy better before you judge?”

  Eliza made a sound a bit like a snort. “I know enough. You think this match is a good idea?”

  Menace shrugged. “I know that he’s a bit rough around the edges, but he’s a good man. Give him a chance.”

  Eliza sat back in her seat crossing her arms. “It’s difficult with all the cursing. The man is a fountain of profanity. And I’m not the one you should be concerned about. When Abigail finds out all of this…”

  Even Brandon had to chuckle at that.

  Menace did too. “Well, he’ll be on his best behavior tonight. It’s the king’s ball.”

  Eliza gave a nod and Emily shifted toward him, her brown eyes achingly warm and sweet. “Does this invitation mean that yesterday went well?”

  “It did,” he said as the carriage slowed down, having entered the line of carriages waiting to unload their attendees.

  She gave a nod, her smile soft and genuine. “I’m so glad for you.”

  He crinkled his brow. She should be glad for both of them. As his duchess, she’d benefit from this as much as he did. “I’m glad for you too.”

  She looked away then, looking out the window.

  He frowned. Had he just said something to displease her?

  Emily drew in a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart.

  He’d been forgiven by the crown. Did he still wish to marry her? That was easy. He’d never wished to marry her.

  He’d yet to actually ask, and she had the sinking feeling that now that he was an eligible duke, the truth was…well, honestly…he could do far better than her.

  She clasped her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking. She was expected to be a doctor’s wife or a merchant’s. They were safe choices befitting her station.

  And if no scandal had touched her, she could be still.

  If Brandon no longer wished to marry her. Which he likely didn’t. He’d surely be relieved to be rid of her.

  Despite the kind words that he’d spoken to her, she’d also overheard what he’d said to Bash and knew that he would do better to marry a woman of the peerage with a nice dowry and an impeccable reputation.

  Not the daughter of a merchant, no matter how rich.

  The carriage finally stopped in front of the massive doors of the palace and the men exited, handing out Eliza and Emily.

  Isabella and Abigail waited for them, Bash and Blasphemy standing on either side of the sisters.

  Abigail was making an excellent effort not to look at the man.

  And for once, Emily could not worry about her younger sister. Brandon held out his elbow and her hand fit into the crook of his arm.

  They were sweeping up the stairs.

  She knew they’d separate before they were announced. Which was better. But she allowed her fingers to play over the lean muscles in his biceps. She wanted to remember this moment forever.

  The man who’d haunted her dreams was by her side and she’d enjoy that fact for as long as she was able.

  The first part of the evening passed in a blur of colors and sound. The king’s orchestra was beyond compare as were the dresses of the attendees.

  Everyone wore their finest for the king and it made Emily acutely aware of her own failings.

  The dress she’d considered so beautiful seemed plain by comparison. She pressed her hands down the silk as she stood with her sisters in a line near the edge of the crowd.

  Still, Brandon had asked her to dance and being in his arms had been beyond compare as they’d spun about the crowded floor.

  A larger man of aging years passed by, the women around her dropping into a curtsy and automatically she did the same, dipping her head.

  When she rose, he’d stopped in front of her, smiling. “What a lovely creature you are.”

  Her mouth pressed together, wondering if being called a creature was a compliment or not, but she smiled anyway as Brandon appeared at her side. “My fiancée, Your Majesty.”

  A ripple of shock and surprise coursed through her as the king gave Brandon a large smile. “No moss has grown about you, I see.” And then the man moved on.

  “That was the king?” The words came out in a breathless gasp as she turned back to look at Brandon.

  “Indeed,” Brandon answered. “My father committed his treason when His Majesty was our Regent, which was why he was lenient enough to leave me my title. He’d never give me the same grace now and I am very fortunate that he has allowed me back into society.”

  That stabbed at Emily. Because she understood what wasn’t said in that sentence. Brandon’s position was tenuous at best. And if she truly loved him and wanted what was best for him, she’d set him free to find a better match with a well-connected family. She’d wanted to kiss him tonight. But as events unfolded, she realized this night needed an even gr
ander gesture. “Perhaps we should finish this conversation in a quieter place?”

  Brandon glanced around and gave a single nod. “Agreed.”

  Then he took her hand and started leading her away from her family. To her surprise no one said a word.

  They slipped out of the house and into the cool night.

  “What a lovely party,” she said as they made their way across the terrace. The clouds had vanished, and stars twinkled in the sky. “Everything shines a bit brighter at the palace.”

  Brandon pulled her close as they stepped into shadow. His voice was a soft whisper in her ear. “His Majesty withdraws from society a little more each year. He rarely has such events these days.”

  “For a man who hasn’t been part of society, you know a great deal about him.”

  Brandon slipped an arm about her waist and suddenly she was pressed to his front, the heat from his body warming her in the cool night air. “Until very recently, all I wanted was to see my family’s reputation restored. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes as my father.”

  She nodded, swallowing. “You know,” she took a ragged breath, preparing herself for her next words. “You haven’t actually asked me to marry you.”

  “My,” he whispered close to her ear. “A grave mistake on my part.”

  And then he began to kiss a trail over her cheek toward her mouth. “That isn’t…” But her words trailed off as his lips pressed to the corner of hers.

  His arms were hard and so strong about her waist, his scent of sandalwood and leather wrapping about her. She gripped his biceps as he nipped at the side of her mouth again, tingling desire coursing through her.

  His lips brushed over hers, light and teasing, making her knees weak.

  She gasped but he swallowed the sound as he kissed her again. This time with more pressure, though the touch was still gentle.

  She’d never been kissed before but if she’d dreamed of the way it would feel, this was better.

  Her stomach swirled with sensations that pooled between her thighs. She squeezed his arms tighter as he pressed against her mouth a third time. Over and over he kissed her until it wasn’t enough.

  How could that be? She wanted more.

  And when he slanted her mouth open and brushed his tongue past her lips to touch his tongue to hers, sensation ricocheted through her as she tilted her head even further to give him all the access he desired.

  She never wanted this kiss to end.

  But it did just the same.

  Chapter Nine

  Brandon lifted his head.

  Not because he wanted to. He’d like to kiss Emily all night until the sun rose and then he’d take her home and strip her…

  He forced himself to stop. That kiss hadn’t been about his pleasure.

  Though it had been beyond pleasant.

  It had been obvious she’d never kissed a man before. Rather than mind her inexperience it had filled him with…satisfaction. A reminder when he’d worried that she didn’t actually want him, that she would be his and his alone.

  And then she’d bloomed under him, kissing him back with such innocent passion that he’d forgotten all his worries. She was his.

  And he had no intention of letting her go.

  Her heart was pounding against his and male pride surged through him.

  He’d done that.

  He cupped her cheek in his palm as his thumb swept across her now-swollen lips. He ached all the more when she pressed a small kiss to the pad.

  But he cleared his throat, attempting to order his thoughts. He had a proposal to make. “Miss Emily Carrington,” he said, looking down in her large, gorgeous brown eyes. The soft tilt at the corners and dark lashes only accentuated the depth of love and kindness that sparkled in them. “Will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?”

  He felt her let out a breath, the warm air tickling his thumb’s tip. “Brandon,” she started, and her voice cracked on his name. Was she overset with emotion? “That’s not what I meant when I said you hadn’t proposed.”

  “I beg your pardon?” But his stomach dropped.

  “I…” She swallowed. “I meant you still had the opportunity to…” She stopped again. “You could marry an earl’s daughter. Or a marquess’.” Emily took a half step back or she tried.

  He tilted his head to the side as he looked down at her. “You think I should marry someone else?”

  She nodded. “You’ve only just received the king’s favor. You should marry into a sparkling family with a stellar reputation.” Her hands came to his chest. “I know you’ve worked very hard to clear your family’s name.”

  “Years,” he replied, beginning to understand. “It’s all I wanted for the longest time.”

  She smiled up at him. “I’m so glad that you earned it, then.” Then her smile slipped. “But am I really the best choice for you?”

  His gaze narrowed. “Emily, I am getting the impression that you don’t want to marry me. First you try to hand me off to your sister and now—” He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice.

  But she shook her head, her hands lightly massaging his chest. “How could I not?”

  “How could you not what? Want me?”

  She pressed to him again and some of the tension in him dissipated. “Of course, I do. You sweep in like some fictional hero and rescue me…not once, but twice. You give me romantic proposals in the garden, you kiss me until I forget—” She stopped, looking away. “But let’s be honest. You deserve better.”

  He blinked several times as he pieced through everything she’d just said. Like lightning he realized that she was attempting to protect him.

  The very idea stole his reason. Just like her family, she was willing to give up her own happiness for his.

  It was everything he’d dreamed of and in this moment, he wanted her more than ever.

  He swooped down then, taking her lips again. This kiss was not soft or sweet. It was a possession. If she thought she’d be rid of him, she was mistaken. Brandon had waited his entire life for someone like this, and he’d never let her go.

  She kissed him back, melting into him until her arms had snaked about his neck, her lips melding to his.

  He didn’t even realize they were moving backward until they backed into a wall, her back pushing against the stone. He wrapped his arm about her again, protecting her from the cold, hard stone even as the kiss deepened. Their hips melded together, their bodies pressed from top to bottom.

  Finally, he pulled his mouth away. “Emily, there is no way I’ll let another man have you now. You belong to me.”

  She gasped, the feel of it rippling through her and into him. “But I’m not—”

  “I understand feeling less than. After what my father did, I’ve been convinced no matter what I do, it will never be enough. I’ve even worried that…” He didn’t finish. The last thing he needed to do was point out the ways he’d failed her.

  “You feel that way too?”

  “I do.” He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “But you are so much. We’ve got to work on your confidence and strength.”

  She gave a nod and a small smile. “Is that why you defended me in the carriage?”

  “It is,” he answered, brushing his lips against her forehead.

  “Oh,” she breathed, her hands tightening about his neck. “How wonderful.”

  “So we’re in agreement then. We’ll marry?”

  She drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry but I can’t agree. I’m still not certain that this is the best course of action.”

  “Why?” he said.

  “Because…” She shuddered. “How can you want me for a wife? Value me when I don’t even believe in myself?”

  Brandon looked down at her, his jaw clenching.

  He felt his father’s specter rising inside him. If he were a better person like Emily, he’d say…I want you to be happy. I want you to take all the time you need to decide and then learn to love yourself. To prove
I am the man you need. But he didn’t say that. Instead, he said something far more self-serving. “I’ve already told the king himself we’re engaged. We can’t back out now.”

  With a clarity that stole his breath, he saw all the ways he was like his father. He’d done what was best for himself without regard to the Carringtons from the first. Was that his father’s motivation behind his treacherous decisions?

  A weight settled in his stomach. He’d taken the path for his own gain. Even now. He wanted Emily by his side so he’d chosen the words that would keep her there.

  Her eyes widened. “Of course.” And then her chin dropped. It was a gesture he began to recognize, and inside he cursed himself a thousand times. Had his father been exactly like this when he’d betrayed his own country? He’d wanted something so badly that he’d risk the very people he loved the most to get it.

  Was that what Brandon was doing? Risking Emily’s self-worth to keep her close? “Why are you uncertain about our match? About yourself?”

  She shrugged then, her gaze casting off into the night. At least she wasn’t looking at the ground. “I suppose I always thought that I’d value myself when I could stand on my own. Someone is always propping me up. It’s difficult to see your own worth when you don’t feel successful.”

  He winced inwardly, his eyes drifting closed for a moment. The truth rang like a bell. Her awareness was completely evident as was his self-indulgence. “Look into my eyes and see your worth.”

  “I’m trying,” she answered.

  “Emily.” He shook his head. “I meant what I said in the carriage. The love you give is so rare and precious. I…” He lost the words.

  She nodded and Brandon reached for her hand, pulling them away from the wall and back into the crowded ballroom. The crush meant that it took forever to reach her family, but it also disguised her absence. Not that it mattered that much. They were engaged even if she’d yet to audibly accept.