A Scot's Surrender Read online

  “Why?” Ewan’s eyes narrowed.

  Keiran sighed. There was no use but to tell as much of the truth as he could. “She’d be embarrassed if I told ye, and while she doesn’t fancy me a gentleman, and I am inclined to agree with her, I’ll not divulge a lady’s secrets.”

  Ewan’s eyes narrowed further until they were near slits. “I ken the two of ye were alone in the inn. Ye didn’t ruin her, did ye?”

  “Yer faith in me is underwhelming.” Keiran huffed. “I would never do such a thing.”

  Ewan relaxed slightly then began walking again. “If I find out ye have, ye’ll be married within the day.”

  Irritation rose in Keiran’s gut. “Ye ken I’m only here ’cause I’m helping you right?” He reached his hand out and swung Ewan around to face him. “Perhaps I should just go home, and then ye won’t have to worry about me at all.”

  Ewan’s eyes rose skyward. “Ye’re my brother in arms. Ye’ll not abandon me, no matter how irritated ye are.”

  Bloody hell, Ewan was right. He was also correct to worry about Agnes. She was too tempting by far but Keiran was not a man to give into temptation. He’d learned too much about restraint in his life and the consequences for not heading it. “Then trust that I will also do the right thing where Agnes is concerned.”

  Ewan relaxed then, cracking a small smile. “Ye expect me to trust ye with a young and beautiful woman who’s constantly poking ye to pay attention to her?”

  “She isn’t trying to get my attention, she simply doesn’t like me.”

  “Don’t be a fool.” Ewan slapped him on the back. “She traipsed across fields to talk to ye. She dislikes ye so much, she can’t stay away.”

  More than any other part of the conversation, that surprised him. But only for a moment. She was attracted to him, he’d known that already. He also was sure she didn’t like him. “I thought ye were just warnin’ me to leave her be. Why are ye tellin’ me she likes me?”

  “I said don’t be inappropriate. I don’t think ye should leave her be. I think ye should marry her.” Ewan grinned broader as he found another spot of blood and continued toward the village.

  Keiran stopped, his breath sticking in his chest. The thought of being married to Agnes wasn’t entirely unpleasant. It wasn’t as though he didn’t dream of having her close every night but it wasn’t meant to be. “Now who’s bein’ a fool? I can’t marry Agnes.”

  “Why not?” Ewan turned and winked. “Is it because she’s English? Trust me, it matters less than ye think.”

  “No, it’s not because she’s English.” Keiran growled.

  “Why then?” Ewan started walking again, searching for the next sign.

  “Have ye met her? She sparkles with life and enthusiasm. She’s like a diamond among women.” Keiran followed along behind Ewan trying to sort out his feelings.

  “Ye’re right, that’s truly awful.”

  Keiran’s irritation made him grunt. “I’m tired and worn. What would I do with a woman like that?”

  Ewan stopped then. “Ye’d live again. She’d fill ye with a hope and life ye haven’t felt in a long time and then, when ye think it can’t get any better, she’ll announce that she’s given ye a wee bairn of yer verra own.”

  Keiran held in his sigh. Ewan was confusing his own experience with Keiran’s. Ewan always wanted to marry. Always wanted a family. “I’m happy fer ye.”

  “I’m not talkin about me, ye egit. Just try to picture wakin’ up in bed every mornin’ wrapped in a beautiful woman’s arms.” Then Ewan paused. “A woman ye’re married to, not a dalliance. Don’t forget that part. A lass who takes care of ye.”

  Keiran moved ahead. He didn’t want to discuss this anymore. Because he could see it. Agnes’s blonde hair streaming over his chest as she used him like a pillow. Her arms wrapped around his waist like they’d been today. Her lips pressed to his.

  It was dangerous to wish for. Ewan was wrong about Agnes wanting him. Her pride was hurt because he’d refused her curiosity back at the inn. She’d likely never been alone with a man and couldn’t resist the urge to try, but she didn’t want him.

  Bloody hell, he wanted her. The woman was innocent sin all wrapped up in a pretty package. And the kiss he’d given her only made him ache the more. He shouldn’t have done it. Kissed her today, that was. He hadn’t meant to, but she had looked up at him, frightened and holding him like he was her protector. It had touched something deep inside of him.

  He shook off the thoughts, searching the ground for another spot of blood. The trail was getting thin. The village lay up ahead. “I can’t find any more blood.” He called back to Ewan.

  “Damnation, I can’t afford to be losing my animals. I’ve barely got the estate up and running.” Ewan tossed his hat on the ground.

  Keiran grimaced. Ewan’s estate had been ravaged while they’d been away, unlike his own. His was tucked farther from towns, and his staff had remained intact. It was taking every coin Ewan could scrape together to make it profitable again. He would have given Ewan money, but the man would never take it. He understood. But Keiran could help him now. “We’ll figure out who did this.”

  Ewan sighed, shoving his hat back on his head. “If ye can’t find any more blood, we’ll head back. I dunnae like leaving Clarissa alone.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine—” Keiran started, but Ewan waved him off.

  “I ken she is. If she weren’t, Agnes would care for her. That woman has a good heart. But I don’t like being away from her.” Ewan rubbed his forehead. “What she’s going through fer me, fer our family…”

  Keiran swallowed, not knowing what to say. They made their way back in silence, and as they entered the foyer of the estate, Ewan started up the stairs. “I’m going to check on Clarissa. Follow me, and then we can discuss what measures I can take to better protect the animals.”

  Keiran nodded and joined him on the stairs. “I ken ye can’t hire more staff. Maybe ye could borrow my shepherd to watch the flock. His dogs are well trained, and—”

  “I can’t take anymore from ye than I already have.” Ewan grimaced. “I have to hire someone soon.”

  Keiran bit his tongue that the gamekeeper also needed to be replaced. Before the sheep had started being poached it had been the deer. If the man kept the herds of deer better tended, then poachers wouldn’t be drawn in the first place. “I’ll head to the village tomorrow and see if I can’t ask some questions to find out who might be poaching. I can also start looking for two youngsters to train for both jobs.”

  Ewan gave a grunt of approval. “Good idea. Not only could I retain them for a while, but they’d be less expensive at the start.”

  They rounded the corner to Ewan’s suite of rooms to find Agnes softly closing the door.

  Ewan cleared his throat, and she looked up, giving her cousin-in-law a smile that held such warmth, Keiran felt a prickle of jealousy.

  “Is everything all right?” Ewan asked, tensing as he stepped toward Agnes.

  “It’s fine. Her back was sore, so I massaged it until she fell asleep.” Agnes’s voice was soothing, like warm honey.

  “Thank ye, lass.” Ewan patted her arm.

  “Any luck with the poacher?” She searched Ewan’s face first, then Keiran’s. His chest tightened as she pointed those luminous blue eyes in his direction.

  “We’ll keep at it,” Keiran replied.

  She stepped up to him, her hands clasped together as she did. “Thank you, Keiran, for what you did for me today.”

  Then she reached her hand out and clasped his. She’d never done anything like it before and warmth spread throughout him at the light touch. “It was nothing.”

  “It was something to me.” Her hand dropped suddenly, and she gave a little cry. “Your boots!”

  He sighed, hoping that everyone thought he was responding to the state of his boots and not the loss of her touch. “I’ll clean them up the best I can.”

  “Give them to me,” she frowned, assessing
them. “I was always quite good at polishing my father’s.”

  Had she gone daft? But somehow, it made him warm deep in his stomach to think of her doing such a thing for him. “Clean my boots?”

  She gave him one of those smiles. The kind that lit her face, the kind that made him want to pull her close. “It’s the least I can do. Please let me help you.” And then she held out her hand.

  And so, right there, in the hall, he took off his boots and handed them to her.

  “I’ll have them back to you tomorrow.” She beamed at him with another glowing smile.

  He gave a nod. “If ye’ll excuse me, I just need to go get new shoes.” And then he padded off down the hall in his stocking feet. He tried not to think about how pretty that smile was or how nice it was that it had been directed at him. His room was in the west wing of the house, which was a fair distance for a man to walk without the benefit of boots, but he hadn’t made it more than a minute before he felt someone behind him.

  Turning, Agnes was once again behind him. Maybe there was some merit to what Ewan said after all about her seeking out his company. Not that it mattered to him. Well, he didn’t mind it, anyhow. If he were honest, he quite liked it even if he shouldn’t. Agnes wasn’t meant for him. That thought deflated some of the warm feeling bubbling inside of him. He had to remember Agnes was a woman that a man married, and he had no intention of being that man.

  “What are ye doin?” he asked her, trying to sound harsh.

  She sashayed next to him, still carrying his boots. “I couldn’t just leave with you. Ewan would never approve.”

  “No, he wouldn’t,” Keiran answered with as much vitriol as he could muster.

  Agnes ignored it. “I went out to the field today to ask you questions that never got answered, and now, honestly, I only have more questions.”

  “The curiosity of women,” he grumbled, feeling a niggle of discomfort. He didn’t want to explain his feelings about her or himself. “There’s nothing to discuss.”

  “I beg to differ. Why didn’t ye kiss me in the inn and why did ye kiss me outside?” she asked.

  Bloody bullocks, couldn’t she have asked one or the other? “Agnes,” he ground out. “It was bad enough we were in a room together.”

  “Why were we in a room together?” she fired back.

  He sighed. Women were an infernal bother. With their questions and their beautiful, bright eyes and lips that were so soft and inviting under his. Agnes would be the death of him. “I’m even more sorry about that now than I was before. I don’t like sleepin’ with strangers. It makes me think of the war and all the nights I spent afraid—”

  He stopped. He was saying too much. But she’d understood, and he heard her soft intake of breath. “Oh, Keiran. Why didn’t you just tell me that at the inn? I would have understood.” Then her hand was in his again. “I’m sorry I said you weren’t a gentleman.”

  “I’m not,” he tugged his hand free and started down the hall again. Her understanding only made his feelings more muddled.

  But she scurried to catch up and then continued next to him. “Why did you kiss me outside?”

  “Are ye always this persistent?” he asked.

  “I’m afraid so. It drives my mother mad. But if you don’t ask, then you likely won’t know.” She gave him another glowing smile. “Does it bother you?”

  “Right now, yes,” he answered, but he actually wasn’t so sure. Part of him liked that she wanted to understand him. And she was right; he might never volunteer information if she didn’t ask for it. Something inside felt a little lighter for having shared with her. He slowed his pace and turned to look at her.

  “I apologize.” She stopped then. “I don’t want you to misunderstand. I don’t expect you to court me. By that, I mean I’m not trying to ask anything of you. I just don’t understand men all that well, and I’d like to. How else will I marry?”

  That irritated him. More than her questions, though he’d pretended to find those bothersome. He’d be damned if he helped her prepare for a future with another man. He’d suspected as much at the inn, but to hear her say it. “I kissed ye because we were pressed together. I would have kissed any woman I held like that. In fact, I’ve kissed hundreds.”

  Her face paled and hurt filled her eyes. “I see.” She cleared her throat. “I should go.”

  “Aye.” He hated that wounded look. Part of him wanted to take it back, but it was too late and pushing her away was the right thing to do. “Ye should.”

  Chapter Four

  The next morning, Agnes made her way downstairs for breakfast carrying Keiran’s boots, though she’d contemplated tossing them into the ocean several times as she’d cleaned them. It would serve Keiran right. She’d known since the moment she’d met Keiran that he was no gentleman, but she’d allowed his rescue, the kiss, and Clarissa’s words to lull her into thinking she might have been wrong.

  Of course, she wanted to be wrong. Because her mother was right about him being as handsome as the devil. And then he’d gone and protected her…

  She sighed to herself. It had been a mistake to ignore her intuition. From now on, she would stay far away from Keiran McKenna.

  With new purpose, she walked toward the main stairs to make her way to the breakfast room when voices caught her attention.

  A woman’s clear laugh carried up the stairs. She’d recognize the sound anywhere. Clarissa’s Aunt Rhona and cousin, Ainsley, had arrived.

  Agnes rushed to greet them. She and Ainsley were both eighteen and nearing their nineteenth birthdays. They’d made fast friends when Agnes had visited Ravenscraig Castle, and she was excited to see her friend again.

  But the sight of Ainsley stopped her dead in her tracks. More specifically the sight of Ainsley with her hand placed in Keiran’s elbow. Her gregarious cousin-in-law was tucked snugly against his side while she smiled up at him. It made Agnes’s blood run cold.

  Keiran spotted her first. He glanced away from Ainsley and, as though he sensed her, looked directly at Agnes.

  Swallowing, she dragged herself forward, to greet all of them. Why should it matter that Ainsley was flirting with Keiran? She’d sworn to stay away from him moments before.

  “Agnes,” Ainsley cried, stepping away from Keiran and rushing to her side. Agnes’s chest relaxed as she gave Ainsley an awkward hug while still holding the boots.

  Keiran walked up next to them and bile rose in her throat again. Could he not stand to be parted from Ainsley for even a moment?

  “I’ll take those.” The rumble of his deep voice reverberated through her.

  Ainsley stepped back and Keiran reached between them to grab the Hessians. Agnes let them go, and his eyes lit with surprise.

  “Lass, these look fantastic. Like new again!” He inspected the boots.

  Ainsley sniffed. “I’d ask where you learned to polish boots, but I keep forgetting you’re not of the nobility.”

  “Ainsley,” Aunt Rhona chastised.

  A blush climbed Agnes’s cheeks. She’d forgotten Ainsley needed to be the center of attention. It didn’t usually bother her but in front of Keiran, somehow, it annoyed her to no end.

  Keiran clucked his tongue. “There is pride and honor in work well done.” Then he turned back to her. “Thank ye, lass.”

  She nodded, satisfaction making her smile at him. It didn’t make up for what he’d said yesterday, how insignificant he’d made her feel but it did soothe her a bit.

  Ainsley returned to her mother, looking rather put out. Agnes followed to greet Aunt Rhona, as the other woman had insisted she call her. But the reunion wasn’t as exciting as Agnes thought it would be. Somehow, the thought of Ainsley pursuing Keiran had Agnes feeling out of sorts. Ainsley was right. Agnes was English and not of the nobility. Someone like Ainsley was far better suited to Keiran.

  Not that she cared. Because she didn’t. He wasn’t the proper man for her at all.

  Everyone moved to the breakfast room except Keiran,
who disappeared to put away his boots, Agnes guessed.

  When he returned wearing them, another blush—this one of satisfaction—rose in her cheeks. She looked away quickly, not wanting him to catch her staring, but she could feel his gaze on her.

  Fortunately, she didn’t have to say anything as she ate her breakfast and pretended he wasn’t watching her. Ainsley kept up a steady stream of conversation. “I’m in need of more ribbons,” she announced to the group then clapped her hands, looking directly at Keiran. “We should take a ride to the village today.” She beamed at him. “Agnes can come with us.”

  Keiran shook his head. “I’ve work to do—”

  But Ewan interrupted. “It’s a marvelous idea.” Then he gave Keiran a pointed look. Leaning over, Agnes heard him whisper. “Help me play host.”

  Keiran’s return glance might have killed a weaker man. At least he wasn’t excited to spend time with Ainsley. It was some consolation.

  But he didn’t seem thrilled to be with her either.

  Then she chastised herself. She didn’t want him to be. What was wrong with her today?

  But it was settled and an hour later as they were making their way to the village. Agnes had been a decent horsewoman before, but her time in Scotland had improved her skills greatly.

  Still, she had a difficult time keeping up with Ainsley and Keiran, try as she might. It irritated her to no end, though she told herself it was just because she didn’t like being left out. It certainly had nothing to with the fact that Ainsley and Keiran looked so natural riding side by side.

  The two chatted as they rode. At least Ainsley did. Ainsley’s voice drifted back to her. “And then there was a brawl over who would sit next to me, can ye believe it?”

  Agnes tried not to become downtrodden. Why should she care if they were suited to one another?

  Finally, they reached the village, and Ainsley dragged them through the ribbon shop and a dressmaker’s. Agnes wanted to yawn with boredom as Ainsley then pointed at the chemist’s shop. As she passed by an adorable cottage, in front of it, a young woman pulled a baby’s cradle into the lane. She looked too young to be married, let alone old enough to be done with a cradle, but she was clearly getting rid of it.